Let the journey begin

SO now to me personally. As I said in my first post, I want to share my experiences to help others be able to talk about theirs and seek out professional help.  It's important to know that DnA IS something you can recover from, but there is no overnight fix and you need to learn a lot about yourself. Most of all, you need to be able to open yourself up (maybe not for all the world to see like me) and be accepting of some home truths and take responsibility for your own life.  That last one is a good tip for anyone, the most important person in the world is ME. Say it with me, "I am the most important person, without a healthy me there is no we".  If you can't look after yourself, you can't look after others (eventually you will crack).

THE NITTY GRITTY

I don't want to delve too much into my personal history but there are some fundamentals of my life that need to be known so you can understand where I am coming from.  I'm not saying every life event I have encountered has led to my DnA but I just want to show that, like others, my life has been far from perfect and this hasn't come out of the blue for me.  Its easy to look back and say, 'oh there was a warning sign' but at the time when everything is fine, it can be hard to say 'I have a problem and could do with some help'.

BORN into a wonderful supportive life in a great establishment, a church, I grew up very happy. From a young age I had plenty of friends who I grew up with over a number of years.  This, I believe, provided me with a great upbringing and I wouldn't want it any different.

I have one older sibling who lives what I call a very envious life. They are a single parent of three people would say struggles but to me they a pillar of strength and a guiding light, kind of funny given the mistakes they too have made over time. For someone with so little (material possessions that most consider the true indicator of success) they are certainly a lot happier than most.  They were the one who got me to make more of a commitment with my kids (something for a later post).

MY Mum and Dad separated when I was around 10-11 I think (its something I don't recall or ask about for that matter. I can remember the day Dad moved out but not much else).  Mum raised me and I saw Dad on odd occasions. It's safe to say we didn't exactly have the best father/son relationship growing up which probably accounts for my actions of a few years ago (we have only just started talking this year after a three year hiatus). He lives overseas and again, that will be another post.

MUM on the other hand has been fantastic, maybe too fantastic, not that I blame her for any of my DnA.  I guess sometimes being a mum can have its inherent downfalls.

MARRIED at 18, two wonderful kids by 20 and divorced by 29. That was my fault, I wasn't a good husband and it cost me my marriage.  To top things off, just before I moved out permanently, our third child was born.

THE kids all moved with their mother to another state which isn't easily accessible (ie an easy drive) in 2005 and I remarried in 2008.

I'VE been on a downwards spiral since my first marriage break up which almost cost me my current marriage which isn't something I want to lose. So this July I saw my Doctor and from there I have been receiving help to make me better.  There is still a long way to go but I'm getting there, one day at a time.

SO I'm going to air some laundry now and tell you how the events in my life have made me feel. I'm not saying they have made me DnA, but maybe you can relate to something similar and it gets you thinking, how has or is that event affecting you?

I want to share this clip that was produced by the West Australian Government.  It's only three minutes long and the last 40 seconds are what the actual message is about.  BUT what a way to get the message across, I think we should all take a leaf out of this video.

Neil




  

Why do we chastise what we don't understand?

SO did anyone pick up the example of the stigma we give possible mental illnesses in my last post?

I made a comment about the 'freak' who sniffs the chairs in parliament (West Australian State Government).  Did anyone else think he was a freak because of that too? he is not a freak, he just does something we don't all accept as normal behaviour or understand why he does the things he does.  It was an example of how we paint someone because of a certain behaviour in a negative light, you know give it the stigma, because we don't understand and it scares us.

ITS the same with DnA.  I was scared to speak up and say I had a problem because of what it might do with to my friends and family.  Would people start treating me different? Would I lose friends as a result of it?

SINCE taking responsibility for myself and my own actions, I have had to explain things to my wife which I always kept to myself.  How could she help me when I wouldn't tell her things about how I was feeling or what I was going through.  Of course she wasn't going to understand me.  And just as  I thought, she didn't understand my DnA or what I am going through. But now that it is out in the open, I have been given the opportunity to explain a lot of things with her just listening to me and taking it all in. I repeat things some times  as this is all new to her so she has plenty of questions but I am glad she is asking them.

SO what are you doing to help someone who is suffering from DnA or any mental illness?

WHAT are you doing yourself about your mental illness?

IT takes a lot of courage to take the step to get help and the bigger one to tell people about your condition.  But if there is one thing I have learnt over the past few weeks, taking those steps are the best things I could have ever done. Not only have I found friends who have been in the same place as me but now I don't have to feel like I am living a double life.  I am what I am and people are accepting of that, they may not understand it but the accept me for who I am.

JUST like the MP in WA, those close to him accept him even though they may not understand his actions.  It can be the same for you.

Neil

What exactly is mental 'illness'?

WELL I can't quite answer that one but I can tell you what it means to me.  Remember this is just my own personal experience battling DnA.

FOR me, mental illness is something that everyone experiences at some stage every day.  I mean, think about it, the illness is just the part where something isn't quite right.  So when we get upset because someone criticises the report we just wrote or anxious about delivering that speech in front of our classmates, to me that is all a little bit of mental illness which is natural.  The difference between John or Jane and me is that their resilience is a little bit better so they bounce back better and faster than I do. Obviously there are more mental health issues other than DnA but as it is the most common condition and one I suffer from it is what I will be relating to.

SO why do I say 'illness' with quotation marks when talking about Mental Illness?

BECAUSE although its an illness (when talking about clinical diagnosis), its something I believe we all experience as outlined above.  But when it does become clinical and we add the term mental illness as opposed to really really upset or just very nervous, we automatically attach a negative stigma to it.  Its something that has been happening for centuries and will continue to happen for some time yet until people can start to understand what happens when someone is suffering a mental ill, health condition.

CERTAINLY as far back as 100 years ago we were sending people with mental health conditions to lovely big mansions in the country side where they could receive all the treatment they needed. No questions asked and often against the patients best wishes.  But hey, they were doing the best for the person weren't they?  Or what about the last 50 years, back in the 60's, 70's and even 80's when most people were well and truly alive and growing up.  A group called the American Psychiatric Association developed this little book called the DSM (now up to its fourth incarnation DSMIV) to help treat mental disorders.  Well this book, right up through to the 80's, actually listed homosexuality as a mental disorder with treatment options!  So what is an 'illness' to some isn't actually an illness to others. Its just a term now.  Were the mansions and DSMs for the persons benefit or society? How far have we really come?

WHEN we think mental illness, mental health issues etc, we often think the negatives of Mental Disorder or Mentally Deranged. You know like we are all some sort of a freak who sniffs the seats of women's chairs in parliament. I'd like to think I am a regular person who just happens to have a little chemical imbalance that needs assistance. My psychologist explained it well to me on Wednesday when they said its like any time we get an insufficient amount of a vitamins or minerals in our diets, we go to the store and buy a supplement. Well its the same with taking medication for our mental deficiency.  But because history locked up the mentally ill when they didn't understand or know how to help the person, society is still somewhat the the same now.  

AS I said on my first post, this blog is a way for me to express my experiences, what I feel or felt and how I behaved to help anyone who might know someone with DnA but isn't ready to approach them about it yet, or might be a sufferer themselves but aren't sure how to raise it.

SOCIETY have opened their arms to the gay and lesbian community (I know there will always be an element of society that are both for and against any 'movement' but...). So all I am saying is I believe its time that mental illness, especially DnA is given the same opportunity to 'come out of the closet' and be accepted as a normal part of life.  All we need is support, help and a bit of an understanding for things to be okay.

IF you think you aren't coping with something or lacking in the brain chemicals department, please go and talk to your doctor.  While society has some way to go, the professional fraternity certainly have come a long way and they can really help.  Don't believe me? keep checking my blog as I show you how I have changed for the better thanks to my doctor, psychologist and medication.

Until next time, Neil